Porno In The Relationship
Pornography in the relationship
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Does it bother you if your man watches porn? Does his porn watching indicate he wants other women? Can his porn watching become an addiction? Do you enjoy watching porn with him? For many younger women in their 20s porn is a benign, and great way to heighten foreplay in a couple’s sex life and the answers to these questions are simple. But I think for many women who grew up in the 70s the answers are not so simple.
In 2009 pornography is available on cell phones, blackberries and any web-streaming gadget. Kids in high school can actually watch porn during class, and they frequently do. Because of this access, the new generation of young adults has an entirely different view of pornography than their 40 something year old counterparts. 20 year olds, both male and female, share porn regularly on line. This is one reason why many of my clients tell me they are attracted to younger women. They feel younger women in their 20s are far more open minded in regards to porn, and sexuality in general, than women in their 40s.
It was different for the generation of women growing up in the 70s, when every man had a girly calendar hanging in his garage. Or when Hustler magazine ran a cover of a woman being ground up in a meat grinder and the feminists were in an uproar. Feminist hated porn. Porn was bad. It objectified women as sex objects and degraded them with demeaning images. So this was the frame of reference for women growing up in the 70s. Now fast-forward to 2009 when people commonly use their computers for masturbation, and monitors are purposefully turned away from cubicle entries in offices in order to hide the porn. It makes for a varied perspective on pornography.
Vibrators and female masturbation were also looked at differently in the 70s. Today most women are open minded about having a vibrator, or at least to masturbation. Are they cheating on their man by using a vibrator? Are they cheating if they masturbate after he goes to work? The answer is no. They are not going to become addicted to their vibrators; they are simply masturbating. It is a similar analogy. Men are visual and men like to satisfy their visual needs when masturbating. For men, porno is a masturbation tool much like a vibrator is a masturbation tool for women. Both can be introduced into the bedroom and shared as foreplay, but both can also be enjoyed alone. Neither can be defined as an addiction unless it interferes with one’s life and is preventing a normal sexual encounter in the relationship.
Whether or not a woman should watch porn with her man is entirely an individual choice. If she enjoys it, then she should watch away. If she does not then she shouldn’t feel pressured to, but she should try to be open minded about his desire to watch it. Remember he is a man, and a man is different than a woman, and women should be ever so thankful for that.
For more information contact Melinda Maximova, matchmaker with Perfect Search melinda@theperfectsearch.com
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Comment by James Harmison — February 19, 2009 @ 6:18 am