Is he worth it? The good man check list
Good man checklist
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Before you follow my incessant advice on how to keep your man, you have to make sure he is worth keeping. As a matchmaker with Perfect Search and relationship coach I come across many women who fall head-over-heels for a guy based on all the wrong qualities. They are intrigued with men who are mysterious, interesting, sexy, handsome, affluent and passionate, and although these are all very attractive traits they are not the qualities that really matter. While good men can have those qualities they don’t identify a man as truly good. Before you lose your heart to the wrong guy make sure he is worth it. Use the “Good man checklist” to properly assess if your guy is a good man and worth keeping, or simply an intriguing guy who is fun for the moment.
The first letters in the “Good man checklist” spell out the word PLEASURE
P-Provider
L-Loyal
E-Empathetic
A-Aspiring
S-Selfless
U-Useful
R-Rational
E-Endearing
Provider- Is he a good provider or is he a financial drain? Being in a partnership should be accretive rather than burdensome. It doesn’t mean that he must be the sole family breadwinner but he must have the ability to take the reins when you are out of commission during pregnancy for example, or while breastfeeding. A truly good man enjoys providing for his loved ones and would never feel comfortable free loading or taking financial advantage of a woman, or her family.
Loyal- Is he loyal? Can you trust that he will not stray or abandon you emotionally? You need someone who has your back and will be there for you during times of need. That is the advantage of partnering up with someone. A fair weathered friend is someone who only sticks around for the good times. A loyal man will stand by you through the thick and thin and will not stray when someone else catches his eye.
Empathetic – Is he empathetic? Does he care about others feelings? A man who lacks empathy is unable to follow the golden rule of, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. They simply don’t have the capacity to put themselves in another person’s shoes. Is he kind to animals and children? Does he have heart and compassion for other people? Empathy is essential for sharing a loving, partnership and is a prime indicator for a good man.
Aspiring – Does he aspire for improvement or is he complacent and accepting of mediocre? A man who is consistently moving forward is someone who not only wants to better himself, but also wants to improve the quality of life for the people he loves. A man who simply accepts his flaws and faults and is unwilling to change, adjust or improve will always be stagnant and lazy, proclaiming, “Well, that is just how I am!” He will be stuck in his ways and rigid in his limitations. Saddle yourself with a guy who has high aspirations and who continuously aspires for greatness with a willingness to grow and learn and expand.
Selfless - Is he selfless or selfish? A selfless man will sacrifice his needs for the greater good of his family. A relationship requires compromise and being a good parent requires sacrifice on many levels. Someone who is selfish and puts their own needs ahead of the family, or the relationship, will not end up being a good partner.
Useful - Is he useful or is he a lump on the couch? A useless man is just that, useless. A woman can be helpless all by herself. She doesn’t need help being helpless. A good man is competent enough to get things done by himself and resourceful enough to find someone to do the things he cannot.
Rational - Is he rational or an irrational hot head? Maintaining a happy, healthy relationship can be challenging at times and requires mature communication, analysis and the ability to be self-critical and thoughtful. Someone who easily loses their temper and lacks rational problem solving skills will be nearly impossible to live with in the long term.
Endearing – Is he endearing to you or is he unkind and hurtful? Keeping the magic alive in a romantic relationship takes effort and should never be neglected or taken for granted. Being sweet, loving and endearing to each other will help prevent the natural irritation that occurs when living and compromising with someone. You have to tend to a relationship much like tending to a flower garden. Neglect it and you will have a bed of weeds, but tend to it lovingly and you will have a bed of beautiful, aromatic blooms.
Use the “Good man check list” to measure the worth of your guy before you invest your heart. Although intriguing men are mysterious, interesting, sexy, handsome, affluent and passionate they are not necessarily good men. Hopefully your good man will also have all those intriguing qualities but in the long run, the first letters in the “Good man checklist” spell out the word PLEASURE, while the first letters in the intriguing man checklist spell out something else.
M-Mysterious
I-Interesting
S-Sexy
H-Handsome
A-Affluent
P-Passionate
For more information, contact Melinda Maximova, matchmaker with Perfect Search
Send $15. and I will answer any relationship, sexual or dating question. I will spend up to 1/2 hour on the question.
