David Letterman’s mistress
David Letterman picked up the tab for Stephanie Birkitt’s graduate law studies at the Yeshiva University Law School. As his first assistant and alleged mistress, she was also apparently planning to buy a $300,000 house in Connecticut. So where was she getting the money? The media is all-abuzz about the salacious relationship between Letterman and Stephanie Birkitt, but I have found that an arrangement relationship between a younger woman and a married man is not that unusual when he provides her with financial benefits. Not only powerful men in high places engage in these mutually beneficial relationships, but also every day businessmen who can afford the luxury of a kept woman. It is almost a benchmark of success for these married men, much like their luxury automobiles, vacation beach houses or the prestigious private school’s their children attend.
So why would David Letterman bother getting married to Regina Lasko, his long-term girlfriend of 23 years in March ‘09, if he was in love with another woman? And why would any happily married man need a secret mistress? The answers have slowly unfolded for me over the years as a VIP matchmaker with Perfect Search, and although I would never engage in this sort of matchmaking, there have certainly been opportunities. I’ve had countless men and women contact me looking for arrangement relationships hoping my service could help. My matchmaking service only matches singles looking for legitimate, long-term relationships, so I have respectfully declined these inquiries, but as a study of the human psyche, I am intrigued. Each time the opportunity arose I found myself picking the brains of these inquiring participants, and with the same curiosity as a young psychology student, and much like a voyeur ’s inability to resist temptation to look, I couldn’t help but ask and implore, and ask some more. When, what, why, how and who are you? Girls have shared the benefits of being a mistress, and married men have shared the benefits of being a “Sugar Daddy”. I now think I understand the dynamic and how it is so widespread and popular.
Just look on SeekingArrangement.com, SugarDaddie.com or Craig’s List and you see that the thriving beneficial relationship exchange is in full throttle action. Wealthy men tout their net worth to young damsels in distress, and desperate young women present themselves much like fruit stand vendors at a farmer’s market. After all, it is a fair exchange, right? No one is getting hurt. No one that is, except the wives of these married men and much like Regina Lasko, David Letterman’s wife, they are hurt tremendously when they find out.
So why do the young mistresses participate. Don’t they have solidarity with the wife knowing that someday they too will be someone’s wife? What are they thinking and how can they justify the relationship with a married man? Most of these young women do want to have their own husband someday and do, deep down, think their married benefactors are jerks. But they are in it for themselves, and what they can get out of it. These young woman are struggling with financial responsibilities such as college tuition, low paying jobs or single motherhood, and the financial assistance of an older, financially generous man in exchange for sex sounds a lot easier than working two, or even three, jobs for a fraction of the money. He may not be as cute as the tattooed bartender she is really dating, but then again, the tattooed bartender is riding his skateboard to work and expects to go “Dutch” on a date. The older man is indeed married but this makes the arrangement all the more beneficial to her because she really isn’t that sexually attracted to him anyway. She is just willing to go through the motions to get a monthly allowance, or perhaps a new car, house or law degree. The fact that he is married means that he thankfully, won’t be spending the night, won’t insist they go out in public, and won’t know that her real boyfriend will be coming over shortly after he leaves. Her only requirement is to put on the party face when Sugar Daddy beckons and stroke his ego enough so that he won’t dump her for another damsel in distress if he gets bored. The secret is hers to keep and although, she most certainly has a real boyfriend somewhere on the side with whom she actually does like having sex with, and although the said boyfriend ever so often wonders how she can afford her lifestyle on her graphic designer salary, she is content with the arrangement.
The married man seeking a mistress simply wants a no-strings-attached, sexually-titillating, relationship with a smiling, sexy, warm, eager, woman who has open arms whenever he calls, and an open door policy when ever he wants to leave. He can make love to a happy girl in the privacy of an apartment, or house (that is most likely provided by him) and he never has to endure the doldrums of reality. With her it is candlelight, slow music, sexy lingerie and erotic sex. With his wife at home it is about teacher’s conferences, broken washing machines, dinner at the in laws and a headache from the kids. When he is with his mistress he is the hero and only has to pay a monthly allowance, or provide spending money, outfits or baubles on occasions, and he gets to play out his fantasies of the successful businessman who has “made it”. Although he may have a happy marriage at home, and may love his wife and family dearly, married sex is just that, well- married sex.
The mutually beneficial arrangement relationship is not just about sex however it is also about power. According to the New York Post, David Letterman took his mistress on vacation with his family in the Caribbean. I have heard many examples of married men stowing away their lovers on family vacations, even if it is just for a few hours at a hotel room, doors down from the family beach house. The ability to keep a mistress is a luxury item for these financially successful men and this translates into a very powerful ego boost. Men who keep mistresses are often experiencing midlife crises, and as they see their youth and virility slipping away, they seek the thrill of a secret lover, even if she is being paid for her love. In fact, the financial exchange only heightens the feeling of power and the secrecy that is hidden in plain site even heightens it more.
The young woman flying in for the secret rendezvous during family vacations is thinking that she has the better deal. From her perspective, it is better to be the whore than the wife. The whore gets the happy mood, expensive gifts, loving sex and gets to leave when it is over. The wife gets the stresses of his complicated life, expensive bills, boring sex and has to stay and wash his dirty laundry and raise his spoiled kids. Not only that but the wife is being made the fool, and the whore gets to be in on the joke.
So, as sad as the scenario appears to be, from my perspective the mutually beneficial arrangement does seem to thrive. As long as there are young women willing to have sex for money, and wealthy men willing to pay for love, there will be arrangement relationships between younger women and older, married men. For the wives who find out, like David Letterman’s wife, Regina Lasko, they are forced to decide if they are going to accept the extramarital relationship or leave. They have to weigh the benefits of being in a financially secure marriage, against the emotional pain of knowing that their husband is sexually involved with another woman. Sadly, many wives choose to ignore it and stay.
For more information, contact Melinda Maximova, matchmaker with Perfect Search
Send $15. and I will answer any relationship, sexual or dating question. I will spend up to 1/2 hour on the question.
